I think that all public restroom stalls should be wired with speakers and sensors that detect an occupant using a cell phone.  Then, when some obnoxious jerk is carrying on a loud conversation while, uh, ‘taking care of business,’ the speakers should blast the audio from the toilet scene of Dumb and Dumber.

Yesterday we were running errands and had to get something from the Staples down in Hendersonville. Since we’d been at the clinic that morning, we came up the back way along Howard Gap Road which avoided the worst of the traffic but also meant we had make a left turn at U.S. 64 which is near impossible on a Saturday.

The first green light brought us to the front of the line, but we didn’t make it through. By the time the light turned green again, a steady stream of oncoming traffic that was not turning prevented us from moving at all. There was a little green car behind us with a woman with ratted-out bleach blonde hair and she apparently blamed us for ‘missing’ the light; she got right up on our bumper, throwing her arms all over the place and inching forward like she was going to pass us.

The light turned green again…more oncoming traffic. Finally we saw an opening because one of the oncoming cars was turning right (64 is a one-way highway at that spot so there were two lanes to turn onto) and we started to proceed forward, but suddenly there was motion to the left as the psycho redneck b*#$@! behind us whipped around to try and pass us on the left by pulling into the oncoming lane. We found ourselves sandwiched between her car and the minivan that had been turning right, had to slam on our brakes to avoid hitting the van because she was forcing herself past us even if it meant us hitting her or the other van.

Hearts pounding, we made it into the shopping center parking lot and pulling in right ahead of us was the @##$&*% who had nearly caused a major wreck. Gee… her little reckless tantrum hadn’t gotten her very far ahead, had it? We were stunned and apalled to see she had two small children in her car, one in the front seat (a very small child, isn’t that very unsafe and I think maybe even illegal?) and one in the back in a baby seat. That was just the final straw for Joy, who was already furious over the whole scene. She pulled over, got out of the car, and stomped over to the woman’s open window.

“Thanks for nearly causing a three car accident back there, with your two childen in the car!” Joy said, then calmly turned around and started to walk away. The woman’s response? “Oh yeah? Well at least I ain’t SLOW, like you!” she brayed. And she continued to scream unintelligible curses at us to impress her fellow rednecks at the Wal-Mart gas station, as we drove off.

What a wonderful example she is setting for her kids; what struck us most was not the lack of regard or respect she showed for everyone else in pulling that stupid stunt, but how little respect she apparently has for her own children’s lives, by endangering them in that manner.

I have tried really hard through this whole House of Mold thing to be positive and upbeat and not have a cow over it. After all, I keep telling myself, look at all the people in the world right now who are facing much worse problems? What right do I have to complain because we’ve had to move after only 7 months and throw out half our crap… but this morning I just hit the last straw and feel that if I don’t have a ranting tantrum, then the top of my head might conceivably blow off. So you’ve all been warned. This entry is all about me wallowing in self pity so you’d be best off just closing the page.

We have now had someone out to service the furnace at the new house a total of six times. Well… actually the last time, (which I might point out, was just YESTERDAY) was a routine inspection to make sure everything was working right after the previous five repairs. We’ve had functioning heat for several days, the inspector that came out yesterday hooked up the kitchen duct (which wasn’t tied in to the heat system) and tested things out and pronounced the furnace healthy. We had 100 gallons of oil delivered and figured things were finally smoothed out and we could finish moving the last of the stuff out of the old house tomorrow (yes, there is still more to move) and work on getting settled.

So this morning, when I awoke after an uncomfortable, restless night to find the house oppressively HOT this time, and the furnace running full tilt even though the thermostat was set to 59… lets just say I’m running out of happy thoughts. I tried turning the thermostat all the way down to no avail, all along with me thinking "but that’s my $250 worth of oil that son-of-a-b**** furnace is eating!" We called the landlord, who called the furnace people, and then we had no choice but to leave for work since we couldn’t afford to miss any more of it and the clinic was short-handed. The landlord said she’d come out to let them in.

And then, halfway through the day, still having not heard anything about the situation, it occurred to us… ‘gee, maybe we should have left a window or two open, since it was 80 inside when we left?!’ I called the landlord who said she was on her way to meet them at the house, and she promised to open a window if it was really hot and to call when they were done. But I haven’t heard anything, I’ve left another message for her (four hours have passed) and I am starting to freak a bit. And we still have another hour at least to go at work, plus the half hour it takes to get home. Of course I am highly skilled at paranoia and conjuring up worst case scenarios, so at this point am convinced the house burned down… and feeling very sorry for myself — why can’t we just have some peace and normality in our lives? Why does everything always have to turn into chaos and calamity?