Return of the zombie

It might have been noticed that the blog posts have tapered off again recently.  My work schedule has been pretty heavy this past month but mostly it’s because I have been battling the insomnia monster worse than usual. Since I like to try for at least the illusion of coherence in my blog posts, I’ve stayed away from the keyboard except to post a few pictures and links.

Finally, after averaging maybe one good night of sleep a week for the past couple of months or so, my brain began to get scrambled to the point where it affected my ability to think clearly (which could be, like, fatal for someone who spends most of their day driving) so Joy made me I decided I’d better see a doctor to try and get this resolved. I now have some of the ‘happy luna moth ad’ pills from my doctor to try for a few days, and then a other few ideas to try if that doesn’t work. I really hate taking any sort of prescription meds even short term, but nothing else (i.e. meditation, Qigong, exercise, valerian root tea, hot milk, sleepytime tea, melatonin, herbal remedies of various sorts, rearranging the bedroom furniture, and massive quantities of Benadryl) has fixed it so we’ll see.

The doctor kept asking about stress and worry keeping me up, and the funny thing is that is just not a problem any more… anyone who knew me at my last three jobs before this one might find that hard to believe but I really don’t get all stressed out nowadays. It’s partly because my current job isn’t really that high stress at all, but mostly a matter of having finally learned how to manage stress a lot better. OK: for the sake of disclosure I do have to admit I had a relapse of my old ways and totally lost it over that identity theft mess a few months back, but mostly I am pretty laid back. I do worry about things, like the toilet our economy is going down, for instance, but I don’t totally obsess over things I have no control over like I once did… unless I am maybe doing it entirely unconsciously? I’m not laying awake and fretting over things — hell after all this sleep deprivation I don’t even think I have the attention span or coherence it would take to fret… I’m just…awake. All freakin’ night.

I think the insomnia is from past years of stressful situations and worrying obsessively, and nine months of a cat waking me up every night, so maybe if we can break the cycle I can get back to normal. Incidentally the aforementioned cat issue finally resolved itself a few months ago, but Simon has been starting to yell at night again the past few days… I wonder what the dosage of Lunesta is for a sixteen pound cat?